On Becoming a “YES” Mom…

“No, you can’t eat that until you’ve eaten your dinner!”

“No, we don’t have time to play there today.”

“No, you’re going to get too dirty and we don’t have a change of clothes!”

“No, you don’t need to do that just because everyone else is.”

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No. No. No. No.

Oftentimes, I feel like that’s my initial response to everything when my girls want to do something.

It doesn’t matter what it is, I almost ALWAYS view it as an inconvenience to MY plan.

You know – the plan to have them be perfect in all activities and sports they participate in, to get straight A’s, to desire to eat vegetables, to win a Grammy and of course, to find world peace.

No’s can be an easy way out. They can prevent us from stepping outside of our comfort zone or from trusting someone else’s plan.

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I got to thinking today – isn’t that how we treat God, too?

“You want me to spend time with this person that is so different from me? No thanks…”

“You want my husband to take a new job and leave the comfort of our current one? No, I’m okay where we are.”

“You need me to give up extra time on the weekends to serve at church? No, I think there are enough volunteers already.”

No. No. No.

I say no to both my girls and to God when they want me to do something I don’t want to do. I want to have control!

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I’ve been experimenting with being a YES mom lately and have learned a few things:

My child thinks donuts are bagels. I’ve been cautious in giving treats so she doesn’t inherit my crazy sweet tooth, but girlfriend can eat a donut every now and then 😂🙈🍩

Our schedule doesn’t need to (and shouldn’t) be planned down to the last second. Things will come up, emergencies will happen, and friends will need our support at inconvenient times. If I can’t spend an extra fifteen minutes at a place when my kids are having fun every once in a while, our schedule is too busy!

When clothes get dirty and messy, we can wash them. When they are older and life gets challenging, it won’t be so easy to clean those messes. Aka a little dirt won’t hurt.

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While “no’s” are certainly necessary in certain situations for safety reasons, and while I will still say no when needed, I want to be willing to say YES more to God, Brad and our girls.

YES, Lord – I’ll go out of my way to love on everyone I speak with today.

YES, I will extend grace to the grumpy person I deal with just as you give me grace.

YES, we can jump in the muddy puddles, play on the playground ten minutes more and grab a donut just because it’s Tuesday.

As an introvert, I often find myself avoiding situations where I have to be vulnerable and share about my life or even when I have to make small talk with others.

It makes me uncomfortable!

But if I said no to being a part of the small groups I’m in, I’d miss out on some of my closest friends.

I wouldn’t have the opportunities I have now to pray alongside people and be there for them in their most difficult times.

So while “NO” has become my default and my easy way out, I want to become more of a YES mom and woman.

It may be more difficult but the memories it creates will be more rewarding!

Mirror, mirror on the wall

Women look in the mirror 8 times a day, according to a study by UK-based company Simple Skincare.

About 75 percent of the women who participated told Simple Skincare that they “hate” looking in the mirror, while 39 percent reported that it negatively impacted their self-confidence.

Can you relate?

How many times a day do you look in the mirror and see something different in the reflection?

As women, we nitpick EVERY SINGLE detail of our reflection, and it appears that we are NEVER good enough. What if you could change that? What if this year, you could focus on leading a healthy lifestyle from the INSIDE out?

Confidence doesn’t have to mean cockiness.  Confidence can mean knowing God created you ON purpose FOR a purpose. Confidence can be picking out clothes in the morning and being content in how they fit. Confidence to you could be feeling comfortable enough to leave the house in the morning without make-up.

If you aren’t feeling confident, please reach out to me. I’d love to help you achieve the confidence you deserve this year. Reach out to me to make a change this year.

If you’re looking for more truth, check out this song from King and Country:

 

Mirror mirror, mirror on the wall
Tellin’ those lies, pointing out your flaws
That isn’t who you are
That isn’t who you are

It might be hard to hear, but let me tell you dear
If you could see what I can see, I know you would believe
That isn’t who you are
There’s more to who you are

So when it’s late, you’re wide awake
To much to take
Don’t you dare forget that in the pain
You can be brave, can be safe

I see you dressed in white
Every wrong made right
I see a rose in bloom
At the sight of you (oh so priceless)
Irreplaceable, unmistakable, incomparable
Darling, it’s beautiful
I see it all in you (oh so priceless)

No matter what you’ve heard, this is what your worth
More than all the money or the diamonds and pearls
Oh this is who you are
Yea this is who you are

In 2017, I commit to…

It seems fitting on the first day of the year to officially share that I have started writing a blog. Throughout 2016, I have been encouraged to do it and decided what better time to start than the day when everyone starts making resolutions for the new year?!

I have to admit – I have a problem with resolutions, though. I usually make SEVERAL of them and then by the end of January, I’ve forgotten what half of them were, and I’ve failed to keep up entirely with the other half.

Sound familiar?

So this year I’m trying something new.

No longer will I make a crazy long list of New Year’s Resolutions.

In 2017, I commit to…

  1. Refocusing my priorities
  2. Being present

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While I only listed 2 commitments, I know those both are BIG undertakings, and they each include several subheadings.

I was reading Me and You, Forever by Francis Chan, and he mentioned a difference between how Christians view their relationships with God and how we actually live them. We SAY that God is the most important thing in our lives followed by family, and then friends, then work, etc, but that isn’t how it should be.

And sadly, He hasn’t even been my top priority, anyway.

I have been spending too much time worrying about ME, my family, Brad, my business, and so many other things, that I’ve become blind to my number one priority.

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Ouch! Talk about a reality check.

So for my first commitment, I’m committing to actually putting God first – not just saying it.  It doesn’t mean everything else will fall into place perfectly, I’m not naive, but I imagine the peace I will experience this year knowing HE is in control will be worth it.

Then there is that second commitment of being present. With social media and smart phones, we are so attached to our screens and I know I am guilty of it. The girls used to both take naps and I would spend that time working on my business but now I don’t get a second of free time during the day. That means I keep sneaking glances during the day to not fall behind and glances turn into way more time than I care to admit.

How will I be more present?

I’m planning to turn off all notifications on my phone and allow myself just two times during the day to check things. It won’t be the end of the world if I can’t get back to someone or double tap on someone’s Instagram post the second they post it. My girls deserve more of me!

I’m also asking Brad (and you!) to help keep me accountable to this. It’s a really bad habit I’ve gotten into and I need all the help I can get.

I’ll be starting a 3 Week Digital Detox program from She Works His Way that I know will be helpful as well, as the organization is grounded in Biblical truth and it will help me recognize how to fulfill the purpose God has for me without being a phone addict.

I know it seems ironic – starting a blog when I’m trying to be MORE present. Thankfully, the lack of naps means early bedtimes so I will get time with Brad AND office hours at night. Win win, if you ask me!

There you have it – those are my two commitments for this year.

I’d love to hear from you – do you make resolutions? If so, how will you be improving your life this year?

Pumpkin Pie Larabar Bites

We made some pumpkin pie Larabar bites when little sister was napping and they were so easy and tasty! Let me know if you try them!

Ingredients:
1 cup walnuts
1/2 cup cashews
1 cup of pitted dates
1 tsp vanilla extract
1 1/2 tsp pumpkin pie spice (or more if you LOVE pumpkin)
Pinch of Himalayan pink salt

1. Pulse all ingredients in food processor until a sticky dough forms.
2. Roll into balls or press into a lined pan to make bars instead.
3. Refrigerate or freeze for an hour and then enjoy!

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How To Workout At 5AM

4:52 AM comes WAY earlier than I want it to, but I’ve been doing a few things before bed to make sure I get my day started on the right foot:

1) I wear my workout clothes to sleep so I can eliminate that excuse — new free workout gear helps!

2) My pre-workout and water are on my nightstand so I can drink up and get rolling

3) My tablet is cued to our FB accountability group so I can join our virtual conference call as soon as I (stumble) bounce down the stairs

4) I get in bed and sleep. I’m trying not to use my phone in bed (work in progress) but it’s crazy how quickly 5 minutes of scrolling can turn into 30.

Maximize your time at night to make your mornings less stressful! What other tips do you have?

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Don’t Listen to What “THEY” Say

Since Emerson turned one two weeks ago, my Timehop has been flooded with pictures of her first days. There have been so many emotions but one of them I have to admit to having is a feeling of regret.

Regret during the first few weeks of your child’s life? Before you think I’m awful, hear me out.

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I love seeing those pictures of my sweet second born and it melts my heart to watch how her adoring big sister loved on her those first days (and continues to do so). But I clicked back to look through the first two months of her life and one thing was apparent – I wanted nothing to do with ME being a part of the pictures.

Here we had this beautiful new blessing and I didn’t want to be photographed with her. This picture is one of FOUR I could find with both of us in it from her 2nd day of life to November 2nd.

Why November 2nd? It’s when I found something for me. I found a fitness program and nutrition plan that set ME towards my goals.

I had given so much to our girls as there were two under two, that I had neglected myself. I had forgotten about Hilary. About my desires. About my goals. About my needs. About me as a person.

It’s not an ego thing, though. It’s a confidence thing. I was embarrassed, ashamed, disgusted and disappointed. For goodness sakes, I had just had a baby!

Society tells us we don’t lose the weight fast enough after having a baby. They say we can get that “pre-baby body” back quickly by starving our already exhausted bodies and pushing them to the max in the gym for hours a day.

That pre-baby body? It’s not happening. It can’t happen! Things shifted and twisted and it just can’t be the same. But that won’t stop me from being MORE comfortable, confident and proud of myself in my new body. The one that birthed two beautiful baby girls.

Forget what society says. It may take a little time, but if you do it the RIGHT way, it won’t just be a fad and you will grow to love and appreciate your (post-baby) body now more than ever.

Grab your phone, hand it to someone else and get in FRONT of the screen instead of behind it for once. Two months, two years, or twenty years from now, you’ll be grateful you have those memories.

*This was originally written on September 8th, 2015.

When The Holidays Lack Joy

Past holidays have meant hiding behind bulky sweaters, scarves, and FAKE smiles.

I said no to wine and cookies because I couldn’t fit them in my restrictive diet.

I said no to social events since I didn’t know how to face temptations and NOT give in.

I didn’t want to workout because it was cold and driving to the gym meant braving the weather. Not to mention early or late workouts when it was dark. And my bed was too comfortable.

Comfort. When we get into a routine, we HATE to break it – whether it is a good or healthy routine or not.

Change is HARD. Change is SCARY. The unknown can be TERRIFYING.

But YOU are worth it. You are beautiful. You are capable of more than you know.

I can go to a holiday party now and not have to spend the whole time wondering what I can eat or if people are judging my size, my dress, or my hair. (Tell me you’ve had these thoughts too)?

Great friends value you for the JOY you bring to their lives and if you’re spending all your time worrying about their other thoughts, you can’t be as joyful.

So the change WAS hard and some days it STILL is. I feel somewhat of an obligation to stay on track with my fitness and healthy eating as a wellness coach. BUT if I slip up and eat too many cookies, you should know that too.

I’m okay with that. Balance is IMPORTANT. Perfection is UNATTAINABLE unless you were Jesus 😉 Enjoy this joyous season, celebrating the beautiful gift of the precious Savior we have been given, and give yourself a gift of grace just as He gave us.

 

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