Tension has been high in our household lately with a raging threenager and a curious and adventurous 14 month old.
If I’m going to perfectly honest, I am not handling it well.
My voice has been raised too often, I’ve been quick to anger and fast to speak, and any sweet moments have quickly turned into grumpy ones.
I never had a strong desire to be a career woman and was grateful to become a stay at home mama when Ainsley was born.
But being a mama comes with SO much guilt.
If I get frustrated or annoyed when discipling, I feel guilty.
If I want just two minutes in the bathroom all by myself, I feel guilty.
If I have to give an extra option or two at a meal in order for my toddler to eat ANYTHING, I feel guilty.
If I pop on a YouTube dance video so I can have a few minutes to cook without kids climbing up my legs, I feel guilty.
I guarantee we could preach these stories back and forth to each other for weeks to come.
Nothing seems to hurt so deep as mom guilt.
But when I dwell in the mom guilt without doing anything about it, I start to crumble.
I recognized this yesterday when I participated in a holiday vendor event.
I felt guilty leaving for several hours.
I felt guilty I wasn’t going to be home early enough to start dinner for our family.
I felt guilty taking time to do something that was important to me, while leaving the girls with my husband (like he was incapable or something – sorry).
I got home and realized something felt wrong.
When my youngest was throwing food off her highchair, I didn’t lose my temper.
When my oldest sassed at me in the way only a three year old can, I didn’t raise my voice to tell her to “stop that right now”.
When putting them to bed, it wasn’t the 30 minute scream fest we’ve had the past week when trying to get said #threenager to put jammies on.
What changed in just a few hours away?
My attitude. My perspective. My guilt.
It’s ok to want to be a mom and to want (and need) a little time away.
So get a pedicure, grab dinner with a friend (or 10), start a book club or find something you are passionate about.
Now I’m not naive enough to think the tantrums are done forever and that my nerves won’t be rocked by my sweet little ladies even two minutes from now, but I know that it’s not just OKAY to want a reset every once in a while and to take a little break.
In order for mama guilt to not get the best of me, I NEED that little time apart.
So what are you going to do for yourself this week to take a moment just for you, guilt-free? #momguilt